I’ve been processing a bit more lately and it’s a nice change from things happening at me. In this place I am reminded of the grief of separating from M, and I feel a heavy loneliness again. I look at how I am so not taking care of myself and how I have little to no energy.
I think of what I “should” do (eat better, go to the gym, walk more, etc.) but a big part of me wonders, “why bother”. Although there have been shifts in my thinking, it has been so exhausting maintaining it. It’s a lot of work re-routing negative thought patterns and belief systems.
I am tired.