Recovering and Acknowledging

My tailbone injury is being a real pain in the ass. The numbness is wearing off and I can feel the pain more. It feels sharp and stabby like my skin is being pulled from it. My bruise has grown and I have to sit in various ways, and sometimes with a doughnut and ice pad. A martini would be nice.

Anyhow…

I went to urgent care and the chiropractor to get it checked out and it turns out the tailbone is curved a bit, which is good news since it’s not torn or fractured. They both said it will take a few months to heal up, and to take it easy for a while. I managed to get this week off of work since the injury is fresh and I need as much non-sitting time and icing time as possible.

Practice today went well as I talked to my coach and she checked in and gave suggestions. Another trainer worked with me on the skills we were learning and I was able to modify some skills to the level at where I am at. I took some breaks for my back and stretched out as much as possible. I also managed to participate in the last group drill which was good.

But really, I am finding that I am no longer interested in catching up to the group. I know where my abilities are now, and I know that if I push myself too far too fast,  injuries like this one happen. My progress is slow, and I need to fall down a lot more to get over my mental block of falling.

But what really has stood out for me these past days is the fact that I haven’t given myself credit for what I am doing. A year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to enroll in a Roller Derby Boot Camp, much less attend one. I would have been paralyzed with anxiety and in no way ready to deal with my inner critic/critical parent. Just being there is a huge accomplishment for me and I am enjoying the fact that, even though I my be the slowest learner on the team, I showed up and am open to learning in the way I can.

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