Two weekends ago, I was feeling alot of anxiety. It’s been happening more lately, and I wasn’t too sure why. After some processing with ACA people and my therapist, I can see that it’s most likely happening because my old patterns and new ones are rubbing up against each other. There are moments when I can feel like I’m crossing over between old habits/thought patterns and new ones. It’s pretty disorienting as you can imagine.
It reminds me of the Big Mind experience I had last week, and that I can practice telling myself that this is a normal part of growth. I can remind myself that, no, nothing is wrong with me. I am not weak or a failure because “I can’t get this”. I can remind myself that my old story is resurfacing because new habit want to emerge.
When I talked with a friend of mine about discerning between thinking my feeling and feeling my feelings, she reminded me that when I am thinking my feelings I am holding a dialogue in my mind. It also lasts longer, and causes anxiety, depression, etc. I basically feel bad. But hen I am feeling my feelings, there is no judgement, no re-living, regret, etc. The feeling passes quicker and there is calm on the other side.
So I guess what I can say is that, if I am feeling crappy, then I am most likely thinking my feelings instead of feeling them.