Fearless Painting

This weekend I attended a “Fearless Painting” class at the local community college. When I signed up for it over a month ago, I must have been feeling pretty enthusiastic. But this weekend was a different story. Had I not paid so much for the class and materials, I probably wouldn’t have gone. Since the depression has been back, I just haven’t been able to think well, much less be creative or inspired.

For the most part I was frustrated. I kept getting stuck in my paintings. When the instructor would do a demo, I would get some inspiration and motivation, but then I’d start painting, it was just a mess. I couldn’t mix pain right and the paint wasn’t doing what I wanted it to do on the canvas. Both days I was close to leaving early. I have no idea what kept me there really.

In the end I was able to create something that I was okay with. It wasn’t so much the finished project I was okay with, but the process that  enjoyed (somewhat). I also got the idea for two projects so we’ll see if they get started.

What was interesting was remembering how I painted much looser and with more freedom when I was younger. I was insecure then but I took more risks in my paintings then.

This weekend it became painfully evident that the years have really closed the walls in on my confidence. I am so much more constricted than before. It was pretty painful to know that my inner critic has taken up so much of my life.

Advertisements

One thought on “Fearless Painting

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: