This is my first week back at work from my holiday vacation. I’ve noticed that since then I’ve a case of the blahs.
I was driving to work today feeling a bit teary. It was bordering on being unsettling since I’ve been feeling quite steady for a while now. I had those old voices telling me that all this positive thinking stuff is just BS. I cried a little, just letting myself have the emotions.
Then I remembered to ask myself “What are these emotions trying to tell me?”
Giving the emotions a voice helped to solidify that my emotions are not who I am completely, but a part of me that has something to tell me.
My feelings of sadness and loneliness were telling me that I hate my job. The monotony is maddening and is not how I want to spend my time on this earth plane. I’m afraid of having no stable financial future because I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
So I did some meditation on reconnecting which helped a little. There was no big shift, but it was enough to help me remember that when I lose touch with the truth, I begin to feel hopeless.
For me the truth is that, even when life gets tough, I am not alone because I am a part of life itself.
Later, I read some notes I took during Rev. Deborah Johnson’s New Years talk. She mentioned a 16 hour flight in which the whole trip was in sunshine. With this example, she said “The sun doesn’t move. It’s the earth that moves. So when things are at their darkest, ask yourself, who moved?”