Feels like it’s been a while since I’ve posted here.

Lots of uprooting going on.

I have a brother, older to me, and the youngest of the boys. He’s been fighting the good fight for a long time now. In and out of rehab. Lapses and relapses. In and out the hospital. Lots of body damage.  Nonetheless, he’s been sober for about five years.

Like I said, his body’s taken quite a beating and two weeks ago he was in the hospital because his liver was not functioning properly. A few days later the doctor diagnosed him with liver cancer. Almost a week later he’s back home with my dad and so I went to visit him this weekend.

Besides the worry about my brother, it was really painful to see how my family interacts with each other (present company included). My brother has a rage that causes everyone around him to scurry away. My father can cut you with his words. And me, I can dish it out just as good as I get it. I hate that it’s so easy for me to attack my family. It seems I haven’t quite learned how to have my emotions and not hurt anyone in the process.

Things are going to be tense for a bit. My brother has quite the journey ahead of him and I don’t know if his body or family can keep it together enough to help him through it.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Coming to Terms « the lotus experience

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