Setting Boundaries and Self-Care

These last three months have been chaotic. My brother passed, I moved into my own place, and I started grad school – again. Although things have eased up just a bit, I still have a full plate.

For a few weeks everything was a priority and everything had to be done NOW. My head was such a running “to-do” list, that I couldn’t execute routine tasks correctly due to my own internal distractions.  I knew something had to change when, one morning, I was driving to work and treated a stop light as a stop sign. When I got to work I opened up my planner and began picking through the list of tasks. I decided to scratch off some events all together (sorry concert in San Francisco, maybe next time), postpone the yard sale to the following weekend, pay an extra weeks worth of rent in order to extend my moving pace, and shimmy out of an event for work.

Was it impossible to do everything the way I originally intended to? No, but after running that red light I knew that if I tried to, I would be frying myself to a crisp. My mental health and the safety of other is not worth being rigid in order to “stay on task”. Sure there was a slight hit to my ego in knowing that I’m not super human and that I can do everything. But that desire to try to be “perfect” has long been fading. I think that since I have been working on letting go, it was easier to look at my plate and decide what to keep, what to set aside, and what to toss out.

In the past I would have felt like a failure. But this time I felt pretty good in knowing how to take care of myself. It has been said that progress is a gradual process. So gradual that you can’t see the changes as they are happening. Then one day you look around and you can see that you have indeed moved from point A to point B. These past few months/weeks have definitely proved that to be true.

Besides being a lesson in self-care, I have realized that this has also been a lesson in setting healthy boundaries with myself. As with everything else, when you are able to do something for yourself, it becomes easier to doing it with others. Learn to love, be patient, be forgiving, and set boundaries with yourself, and you’ll notice that it becomes easier to do so with others.

So when you are in the midst of chaos, and trying to be super mom/dad/student/worker, etc:

How do you know when too much is too much?

What happens when you’ve crossed over your own boundary?

How does crossing your own boundary affect others?

Are you comfortable with delegating tasks to others? Why or why not?

Are you comfortable in allowing yourself to be comfortable?

How do you benefit when you practice self-care?

How do others benefit when you practice self-care?


One thought on “Setting Boundaries and Self-Care

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  1. Setting our own boundaries and recognizing our own limitations is often the most difficult of tasks. -Thank you for the reminder as to its importance. Continued strength and gentleness to you!

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