There is a man who lives his life with a deep fidelity to family. His commitment to his family is so deep that he considered it his life duty and extends his commitment beyond his immediate family. His desire is to be loved and accepted for everything he has done.

There is a woman who, despite living a life of familial fidelity, desires freedom and independence. She accepts the life that she believes is dealt to her, even though she finds little happiness in the daily routine. In stolen moments she wonders what her life could have been was she not tied down to her family. Simultaneously she fears that she could have had it much worse.

These two people live inside me. The duality of fidelity and freedom, duty and independence has been battling inside me for as long as I can remember. It was what a piece of what collided in me and creating a deep depression. It’s only now that I can see it clearly for what it is.

These are the lessons learned from observing my parents. In watching their actions and hearing their words, I can hear their internal scripts; what they believed was true, what they valued, and what they desired. This is what children do. This is how children adopt their parent’s baggage. Always.

Now that I’ve unpacked, I can finally give it back.

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