As of February, I have been living with my boyfriend. The last time I lived with a romantic partner was in 1997.
Long story short, this February I took a leap of faith and decided to give an ex-boyfriend another try. Was I scared? Hell yes! Did it make sense? Hell no. However, I simply felt different and he acted different. I felt more grounded in me and he was “showing up”. His actions told me he was sincere and present. Then we both realized, and were surprised by the fact, that we really wanted to live together. So we did.
It’s been three months and I tell you, we’ve had our ups and downs. I’ve remained in contact with my support systems and expressed my needs and concerns. He has shown insight, perseverance, openness, and accountability. We are learning a lot about each other and ourselves.
When it comes to issues, it’s been interesting discerning what is mine, his, and/or ours. I’m learning about my triggers as well as his, and how our triggers play on each other. My communication skills are getting better, I am learning to trust more, and I am learning to show up more in all areas of my life. Although it’s not always perfect, our relationship mirrors life pretty well. I can’t predict the future, nor can I control his actions, but I have a choice in how I perceive things and how I will act. Where things will go, I have no idea, but for now, everything seems to be just where it needs to be. I’m pretty thankful for that.