Depression, Anger, Action

This raw week has continued into this weekend and with the time change, I find myself restless and frustrated. I lay in bed not wanting to be awake, or go back to sleep.

I’m slowly realizing that all this inner restlessness and resistance is most likely from choosing to be in my body. As I said in a previous post, coping mechanisms serve to protect us in times of real and perceived threat. My coping mechanism of shutting down and leaving my body was no longer working, because when I did so, it started to become harder to come back and I would become depressed.

So I’ve recently chosen to stay  in my body and boy, am I feeling it. Instead of feeling depressed, I am feeling more anger. I remember my therapist has said that feeling anger in place of depression is a good thing. Right now I can’t remember why this is. Maybe, I have been protecting myself from feeling anger. I’ve never had healthy anger modeled to me. I know that anger can spur action. Maybe I’ve been protecting myself from taking action.

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