Shortcomings and Apologies

My fear sometimes gets the best of me. And I mean, the BEST. When this happens I don’t always do or say the “right” thing. By “right” I mean, the most compassionate and present way of being.

To be specific, I came home tonight to news that affects me and my boyfriend financially. When I heard this, I began to point out obvious actions.  He became defensive and told me that I think he is stupid. I apologized and let him know I don’t think he’s stupid, and that I was just concerned. He said he understood, but I felt like at some level he still believed I was judging him.

When he went to take a nap, I thought about the conversation that just transpired. I thought about what he did for us on a daily basis, and if I have been acknowledging these acts. I realized that although I mostly do, I don’t acknowledge his acts in way that let’s him know that what he does is “enough”.

In realizing this, I went to the bedroom and snuggled up next to him. I told him what I appreciate about him, and that I loved him, and that I was sorry if I gave him the impression that what he does isn’t important “enough”.

Even though my fear gets the best of me, I can certainly own my shortcomings. When I do, the BEST of me comes though. I can only hope that the person on the other side is able to receive it.

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Finallyspeakingmytruth
    Dec 13, 2013 @ 10:26:15

    nicely said. can totally relate to this. thank you for writing it.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: