Beyond Security and Comfort

Security and Comfort. These are core needs that I have.

Security being that sense of certainty, stability, and faith. Comfort is the comfort I feel when I am being seen, heard, valued, and accepted.

These core needs influence everything I do. From how I eat to how I relate to others. I realized these needs after doing a short program that looks at unwanted emotional eating.

Through the process of counseling, I learned that underneath these core needs of Security and Comfort, is a desire for a deep connection with myself and others. For me this makes sense, because when I have that deep connection with myself and others, I feel secure and comforted.

Describing the deep connection is hard, but I know when I am having it because I feel a sense of Security and Comfort. It is the most amazing and blissful feeling for me. I can show up elated and excited, or mascara stained from a gut wrenching cry, and know that instead of being criticized, I will be accepted and appreciated. Conversely, when I am not having a deep connection with others close to me, there is a feeling of loss. I’m curious about this as I am wondering if a healthier version of me wouldn’t feel this loss in the face of not being connected deeply to others whom I am close to.

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