Warning: This is a negative ranty post.
I’m in my last quarter of graduate school for my Marriage and Family Therapy degree. One of my last classes is a psychopharmacology class. It’s kicking my ass. I almost failed exam 1, I was lost in my first written assignment, and I failed exam 2. There is one exam to go and one more assignment to go. I feel so completely triggered.
I love learning and the discussion of theories and techniques. I have done well in this program, and have had challenging quarters where I understood what was being taught, but had to manage a large course load with a large workload. I work full-time counseling youth and attend school full-time in the evening. I commute 80 minutes round-trip 1-2 nights per week. But this?
This is something else. This psychopharmacology class is so information dense. My brain can’t seem to retain any information. The language is a jarbled mess. Like bad reception on a cell phone. The grading is steep. Anything below 80% is failing. I feel inadequate and exhausted. This class taxes my nerves and I am in such an irritable fucked up mood after each exam and assignment. The lectures depress me as I can’t keep up with all the information. I can’t understand it or make sense of it. I may be able to if I had time, but I have no time. I could actually fail this class and not graduate.
In short I’m freaking out right now.