Most of us are pretty familiar with New Year’s resolutions, yes? I know I have spent many new year’s dreaming of how I was going to be really committed to exercise and eating plans, in hopes of losing weight. I say dreaming because, that’s what it all was. A big ‘ol fantasy dream.
2014 brought the highlight of reading the book “Health at Every Size”, and finally accepting that DIETS DON’T WORK! Letting go of the fantasy that the right diet and exercise plan would yield a trim and tiny body was a bit heartbreaking. I held this fantasy since childhood! I was always heavy set so my family, peers, and society in general supported and encouraged this fantasy! I put off doing so many things, waiting to be the “right” size. “When I lose x amount of pounds (am a size x) I will…” start my own business, wear nicer clothing, go outside more, etc. So I would start a new “eating plan” (diet) and hit the gym. Somewhere along the way I would miss a gym day because of being sick, tired, or a schedule conflict, and/or eat differently from my meal plan because of a holiday, celebration, craving, or stress. What would soon follow was feelings of shame and guilt from not being diligent enough. I felt like a failure and vowed to start again. If I did start again, I would trip up again (that’s what happens when you are human) and repeat the shame/guilt/failure cycle.
I know my story isn’t unique. I know that any person who has tried to forcibly change their body has experienced what I have.
Although I wanted to love and accept my body, my belief hat I was a failure at weight loss was a huge barrier between me and loving my body. Reading “Health at Every Size”, helped me to understand that my body always has been, and always will be in charge. I learned how diets actually cause more harm that good, and result in excess weight gain. Our bodies already know what to do, know how to heal, and know how to stay in balance. Once we start fidgeting with the system and try to override it, we begin a battle between ourselves and our bodies. In reconnecting with my body, and learning to listen to it, I am beginning to heal years of damage as well as loving and accepting my body in a way I never thought possible.
So this year, instead of creating resolutions to lose weight or be a “new me”, I’m joining Virgie Tovar and many others in ditching the “new you” scam, and getting a NEW VIEW! A new view of body positivity and body love. If you’d like in, I HIGHLY suggest you read Virgie’s blog post “5 Tips for a #NewYearNewView“. There’s text under the #NewYearNewView image, so scroll down and read on how to reclaim your amazing self.
One of my New Views is to embrace Fatshion by experimenting with color, accessories, and wearing things that I normally would say “Oh I am too fat to wear that!” In being bold in my fatshion I am putting myself int he position of being even more visible in the world. Letting myself be seen in all my fatness is kinds scary, but in a good way. In that “I have to get out of my comfort zone (oversized black dress and coat) in order to grow” way.
As a teenager, I lived for pushing buttons and getting a reaction out of people. The more outrageous I looked the better. I wanted to rock people’s conformist boats. As my age, waistline, and insecurities grew, I began to prefer fading into the background and not being seen because I felt like such a failure. Now that I am unlearning diet culture, I think its time to rock some diet culture boats! Who knew that a short skirts that shows off fatty legs, and sleeveless tops that show winged arms could be so revolutionary.
I have posted this before, but I’ll share it again as I think anyone venturing into a #newyearnewview can benefit from this TedX Talk by Jes Baker.
So whaddaya say? Will you join me???