Saying Goodbye, Part 11: Earthquakes and Landscapes

I awoke on Wednesday to my first day home without my father. I had spent the greater part of February in his home 3-hours away, in an unexpected whirlwind of emotional chaos, intense vulnerability, and the eventual release of him as I watched him being taken away for cremation. I know enough to not expect... Continue Reading →

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Saying Goodbye, Part 4: Difference in Perspective

Monday came with no improvement and my father was taken to the Emergency Room via ambulance. It was a rush of fear that went through me as I followed the ambulance to the hospital. By this time my father's condition was pretty bad. He was mostly unresponsive with eyes closed and mouth open. His cough... Continue Reading →

Growing Edges and Traps

Over the last few weeks, I have been sitting with and working through a growing edge about my subconscious set-up where, no mater what I do, I always end up wrong. At first, I knew it's was a growing edge because I didn't have the words to describe what I was facing. I get fleeting clarity, but... Continue Reading →

“Get Over it Already!”

In the first half of 2010, I was in the depths of my depression and anxiety. I was on a leave of absence from work, having consistent suicidal thoughts, inert, had no appetite, and prone to fits of spontaneous crying. I was receiving counseling, medication management, going for daily walks, receiving care from a naturopathic doctor,... Continue Reading →

Death

This week I have been raw. Emotionally raw. Or is it numb? I can't quite tell. Monday night I was affected by three very different experiences. The first experience resulted in me feeling angry. For the second one I was frightened. The third one had me in tears. For each experience, I practiced breaking the... Continue Reading →

Connection

Last Sunday night I attended my sangha's New Year's Intention Setting. The facilitator talked about the three refuges (buddha, dharma, sangha), lead us in a short meditation, and ritual for intention setting. In the ritual, a spool of yarn was passed around so that, in the end, we were all holding the extended thread. We... Continue Reading →

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