darkness, life, and the emergence of self
Monday came with no improvement and my father was taken to the Emergency Room via ambulance. It was a rush of fear that went through me as I followed the ambulance to the hospital. By this time my father's condition was pretty bad. He was mostly unresponsive with eyes closed and mouth open. His cough... Continue Reading →
"Lines Hold the Memories" by Silvia PelisseroSunday morning arrived, and my father was still silent. despite his increased strength the day before, he began to show subtle signs of decline. He needed more time and help moving from the bed. His ate less, and had more difficulty drinking. because of this he was unable to... Continue Reading →
I could feel my nervousness as I approached my father's home. Based on what I was told, I expected to see my father less verbal, but mobile. I arrived with photos I planned on looking at with him, and hoped to listen to music together. However when I walked into his bedroom, I... Continue Reading →
This series of posts is going to cover my recent experience with several topics including: dementia, choosing between treatment and comfort care, hospice, and death. As most of my posts go, I share this experience, not only for my own healing, but for anyone else who is, or has, gone through a similar experience.... Continue Reading →
Edvard Munch: "Death and the Child"Most people say “When my time comes, I don’t want to be hooked up to machines! Pull the plug, just let me die!” Oh, but it is not that easy when you, as the family member, have to make the decision for your loved one. In my case, my father.... Continue Reading →
During the Winter Solstice we experience the shortest day and longest night of the year. This time of extended darkness (the longest of the year) can bring about mixed feelings depending on your situation. For some, having longer nights brings about little disruption to daily life. However for others, this time can brings discomfort on many levels. In either case, the Winter... Continue Reading →
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_eroTZPEM It has been a long, strange, and winding path to here. Here being the place where I step out of many comfort zones to birth my coaching practice. I live in Santa Cruz, which is basically the land of people who work for themselves. Masseuses, Consultants, Dietitians, Trainers, and, oh yes, COACHES!! I am... Continue Reading →
It took approximately 41 years for me to understand that I am not my experiences, my feelings, or my thoughts. Up until then, I truly believed that my experiences revealed to me, and everyone around me, the essence of who I was. Failed endeavors proved that I was a failure. Broken relationship proved that I... Continue Reading →
It's safe to say that most of my life has been lived from a pessimistic viewpoint. Glass half-full was my default and Murphy’s Law governed my outlook. I strongly believed that optimistic people were living in a fantasy world and sorely needing a swift kick in the ass from reality. My ever increasing depression and... Continue Reading →
Over the last few weeks, I have been sitting with and working through a growing edge about my subconscious set-up where, no mater what I do, I always end up wrong. At first, I knew it's was a growing edge because I didn't have the words to describe what I was facing. I get fleeting clarity, but... Continue Reading →
the lotus experience 